When we go through a life changing event, we may find the need to control every part of our lives. We become stressed because we want to know what's going to happen next and we want all the answers.
For me, instead of letting nature take its course, I want to make sure things go the way that I envision them. I'm not patient. Choices stem from instant gratification; even if it's at the expense of my long term happiness. If I don't see results here and now, then I quickly scrap the plan and plot another.
I recently finished the book, Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets and Philosophers by Leonard Koren. Wabi-sabi is the Japanese aesthetic of finding beauty in things imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. "It is a beauty of things modest and humble. It is a beauty of things unconventional." An object that exemplifies wabi-sabi shows the wear and tear of time and can appear misshaped and irregular.
For someone who constantly wages an internal battle with not having everything figured out, the concept of wabi-sabi has, and continues, to bring a sense of peace and calmness.
A beauty of things imperfect?
I think that this is a difficult concept to grasp, especially here in Southern California. To most, perfection is when we have a plan laid out or when things are symmetric and neatly in order.
Keeping up with the fast pace environment most of us are use to, we over look the subtle beauty of things. "Wabi-sabi is about the minor and the hidden, the tentative and the ephemeral: things so subtle and evanescent they are invisible to vulgar eyes."
A beauty of things impermanent?
There is a season for everything. We may try to preserve and create structures that are everlasting but with time things mature into its next stage. "In metaphysical terms, wabi-sabi suggests that the universe is in constant motion toward or away from potential"
A beauty of things incomplete?
Sometimes when we get stressed, we try to find a quick fix to get us through. We feel that there has to be a definite start and end to our doings. "Consequently to experience wabi-sabi means you have to slow way down, be patient, and look very closely."
Even though wabi-sabi applies to the aesthetic beauty of objects and spaces, its lessons can make us think about how we view our own situation.
"Wabi-sabi images force us to contemplate our own mortality, and they evoke an existential loneliness and tender sadness. They also stir a mingled bittersweet comfort, since we know all existence shares the same fate."